Taking Care of Parents with Dementia

When my husband Romie and I decided to be his mother’s caregivers — she would live with us and we’d take care of her every need — we never realized how much it would change our lives … lots of ups and downs. And patience. To watch someone you love slowly lose grasp of the little things the rest of us find so simple to do, like feeding yourself, is not easy and almost heart-breaking. Her name is Pacita, but she’s known as Lola to her many grandchildren and their children. This is Lola’s diary…

When Romie is at his other full-time job, I am home with Lola. This has been our daily schedule since 2007 when Lola moved in with us, our only “break” is when we are at our other jobs. What this different lifestyle has taught me is lots of ups and downs, plus lots of tears out of frustration. I have to remind myself that this isn’t who Lola is, this person who moves super slow and looks at you as if you’re a total stranger … It’s not her, it’s the dementia. Sometimes when it becomes too overwhelming, I try to imagine what she may be going through but is unable to communicate because of the disease. It’s upsetting but allows me more patience that I need to give to her.